Our Greatest Hero Has Betrayed Us in the Fight Against Robots

As you have likely already noticed, robots are slowly taking over the world. It seems like everyday that there is a new breakthrough in robotics; be it robot dogs that can open doors, robots that can back-flip all over the damn place, or even robots that are shaking their asses on the pole for triple A batteries, we are in for a world of trouble. Of course the worst one of them all is that evil A.I., Sofia. You remember Sofia, right? She’s the one that has publicly stated multiple times that she wants to destroy all humans. In case you’ve never seen her or need a refresher, check out this video:

Sofia is a problem and to make matters worse, she seems to have seduced a man to her side. This is a man that I thought would be one of the leaders in our resistance. His name is Will Smith. That’s right, the Fresh Prince himself, has been snatched from the side of humanity and now feels the cold embrace of Artificial Intelligence.

Between fighting aliens in “Independence Day” and “Men in Black”, surviving a zombie apocalypse in “I am Legend”, and stopping fucking ROBOTS from taking over the world in “I Robot”, I figured that Will would be a central figure in solving the problems of tomorrow. Hell, I at least thought he would release another banger of a song like “Wild Wild West” or “Gettin’ Jiggy with It.” Turns out I was wrong. Recently, Big Will was spotted, in the Cayman Islands, on a date with Sofia.

That was tough to watch, and not just because Will Smith’s career are taken an odd turn into vlogging. Sofia, proving once again to be heartless, doesn’t even chuckle at Will’s joke. I laughed so hard that I almost fell out of my chair! Then she starts to neg the poor guy! Loves 80 hip hop but not his music?! The shade she was throwing was unbelievable! I do have to admit that I was a little nervous when she said she had seen “I Robot.” I can only imagine that was how she decided that she needed to get Will under her control. Even after Hitch confesses his love for her and goes 90% in for the kiss, she stone walls him! All she had to do was go 10% in! She is clearly more powerful than I expected. Perhaps placing him in the friend-zone actually makes him easier to control…damn she’s getting smart. I’m not sure how we stop her now.

“I like robots.” -Will Smith

All hope for the survival of humanity is lost.


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