LIVE BLOG: Gritness Down South

1/5/2018

4:45 pm

In about 15 minutes, a mini van carrying Hambone and Pat will arrive at my apartment. I will then board that van and participate in the storming of Jacksonville. The Buffalo Bills play their first playoffs game in 18 years, and I’ll be damned if we aren’t there for it. All day, at work, people were talking about the game. Everywhere I went, I would have conversations about our chances and how great it was for the drought to be over. Even people that I have never heard talk about football are electrified by this team. I plan on updating this blog as we make our way down south. The tables are folded, the beers are packed, and I can’t wait to join up rest of the Bills Mafia and celebrate in style.

5:26 pm

No van has shown up. I think they left me behind.

5:50 pm

I was not left behind. Mini van en route to Rochester to grab Craig. No Bills fan left behind!

6:18 pm

As we close in on Rochester, Nick “The Toll Man” Kobel is attempting to quit his job and hitch a ride with us.

6:51 pm

We have Craig, the Champion of Rochester. Time to change direction towards the south. Pat is devouring a box of hot cinnamon bites.

7:16 pm

“Give me a slice of that zah.” -Craig G

“#blessed for this Gridlock (energy drink)” -Hambone

“Hold on, what?” -Pat

Quite the electric group.

8:00 pm

We backtracked to Buffalo. The real trip starts now.

9:04 pm

Craig G has taken over the Music. First song on: Wild Wild West by Will Smith…WILD choice. Song is quickly followed by us talking about how Stevie Wonder can 100% see. Cute toll booth girl sighting.

10:12 pm

I have relapsed and have had my first Icebreaker Mint in over a month.

10:38 pm

Pat is napping to prepare for the “weird shift.” Hambone attempts to vape and fails

11:22 pm

Passing Pittsburgh.  Good practice for when we have to come back here for the AFC Championship game.

11:31 pm

Things getting weird. I compared myself to Jabba the Hutt on his sail barge. Pat is dancing saying “Does this make us thots? I think this makes us thots.”

1/6/2018

1:05 am

The “never have I ever” scenarios featuring Carl Paladino have started. Pro Tip: choose finishing when you can.

2:00 am

The weird shift official starts. Shots of Red Thunder and Wolf Moon by Type O Negative.

7:33 am

Apologies for the lack of updates. Dirty Dietz drove through the witching hour and was dancing by himself. We stopped for rations at ye olde Waffle House and had great service from our girl Dawn. Back on the road now, almost in Charlotte and it’s still less than 15°.

8:48 am

It’s sunny and a warm 23° morning down here in South Carolina. On schedule to pick up at least one Bills fan at the Savannah Airport. I was disappointed to not find folding tables for sale at the gas station.

10:06 am

It took us almost getting to Georgia, but we have finally hit a temperature above freezing.

10:52 am

We are about 10 minutes out of Savannah, where Garrett will join our crew. Decided to play a game of Thunderstruck with Mountain Dew and knock off energy drinks. We made a huge mistake.

11:40 am

We have Garrett. We’ve loaded up on the always delicious, Chik Fil A.  All that’s left is to hammer out this last stretch of road to Jacksonville.

6:06 pm

I’ll fill in the rest later, but our Lyft driver is a woman with 3 boyfriends and 2 girlfriends. WILD stuff

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