If there is one thing that I truly love in this world, it’s Star Wars. This love was strong enough to make me suffer through a terrible half of a Bears-Vikings Monday Night Football game just to watch the premier of the trailer for Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Each time I watch this trailer I experience extreme joy and excitement, soon followed by a need for a change of clothes and a shower. I’m telling you all right now: This is going to be the best Star Wars movie yet. So here we go, some of my thoughts and predictions (With 100% Accuracy) for The Last Jedi.
First prediction is that Snoke is talking about Rey at the beginning of the trailer, not Kylo Ren like all you nerds probably think. Snoke wants the bad bitch, not the lead singer of Fallout Boy.
What the hell happened the skin on Luke’s robotic hand? I swear they put skin on it in Empire Strikes Back. At least put a glove back on it , bud. Hair is fucking on point though. Speaking of Luke, he has life figured out, right? Living all alone on some island sounds grand. Fuck actually having to do shit, let the galaxy do it’s own thing. Luke is probably just chilling out, drinking some blue milk with a splash of rum and enjoying the peace and quiet. Kind of hope he kicks Rey the hell off his planet.
We get some of Rey’s training, which for some reason isn’t 90% cardio and yoga like Luke’s was. Rey is looking like a badass, leading Luke to talk about how afraid he is of her.
Kylo Ren is still an angry little boy, preparing for the murder of parent number 2. Not hating that face scar or ship of his though. Good to see him ditch the mask; big step towards him becoming a man.
Not a whole lot of Leia (RIP Carrie Fisher) in this trailer, but she was looking great. Very curious to see what her role is in this movie and how they send the character off.
Looks like they might actually use Poe Dameron more in this movie…probably not though. Most under-utilized character in The Force Awakens.
Finn vs. Brienne of Tarth is going to be fucking wild. Glad to see they are going to have Phasma actually do something besides look cool. Hell of a lot more than Boba Fett ever did…
We get some of Snoke, looking like a boss in his gold robes. Big Baller Snoke has 100 times the style of that bum Palpatine.
My big prediction is that both Rey and Kylo Ren are betrayed/abandoned by their masters, setting up a Reylo tag team for Episode IX. Luke is going to coward out of training Rey some way, somehow.
My biggest takeaway from this trailer is that I fucking hate Porgs. What the hell is the point of them? Just to look cute? Sell merch? I don’t really care, I’m just praying that they are a tasty treat for Chewy and he is just snacking on them the entire movie.