Nick Folk Can Go Straight To Hell

Nick Folk Goes to Hell (original photo The Sporting News)

After last night’s pathetic performance in the Buccaneers’ prime-time, color rush match-up against the Patriots, Nick Folk should proceed directly to Hell. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

I thought I hated this bum before, but he has reached a whole new level of scorn from the Bone. Dante may need to put on an addition to his 9 Circles of Hell to fit this asshole.

If you somehow missed it (I mean who doesn’t watch Thursday Night Football?), Folk, who beat out last year’s second round pick Roberto Aguayo in training camp, managed to miss 3 field goals in a single game! He has missed 5 of his last 6 attempts overall! Normally I wouldn’t care how awful Tampa Bay’s kicker is on any given day, but this game was special. This game was against the Evil Empire, this game was against the New England Patriots. With the Buffalo Bills actually off to a good start this year, all I need is for the Pats to get fewer lucky breaks than normal, and the Bills might have a chance to sniff the playoffs. But of course, the Pats stumble ass backwards into another win when the team they’re playing couldn’t find a kicker if they walked into the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular.

You may think this is a little extreme to hate a kicker from an entirely different conference than your favorite team, but Folk and I have a history. The last time the Bills played on Monday Night Football was October 8th, 2007 (ten years ago!) against the Dallas Cowboys. These were the Trent Edwards led Bills and they weren’t very good, but everyone was excited that they were going to play in prime-time which is a rare occurrence in Buffalo. The Bills intercepted Tony Romo 5(!!) times, returning 2 for touchdowns and even pitched in a kick return touchdown to boot. But that wasn’t enough. Down 16-24, the Cowboys scored with 20 seconds left in the game to bring the score to 22-24, but they failed score on their 2 point conversion. Then, miraculously, they recovered their own onside kick, drove a few yards, and Nick Fucking Folk kicked a 53 yard field goal as time expired.

Fire Nick Folk into the Sun, I’m done with him.


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